Grocery Woes

Inspired by my friend Symantha's last post, I am going to talk about my job.

Sometimes it gets really old.
Here are just a few of the things that get old because they happen every day:

• When customers tell me they have their own bags after I've bagged their entire $100 order.
• When customers hand me food wrappers and tell me they couldn't wait. I hope your card doesn't decline, 'cause then you just shoplifted.
• When someone hands me a still-wrapped candy bar, slobbery and indented with teethmarks, and says their kid doesn't want it anymore.
• When people hold their groceries back on the belt until I've finished the current transaction. It's there for a reason, and that is to get rid of you sooner! So let the stuff go!
• When people slide their card like they're trying to start a lawn mower. Be gentle, people!
• When people push their groceries forward on the belt, and onto my scale. I am a fast checker- I promise you every vegetable will get a turn! 
• When people rearrange their groceries after they've put them down. All you do is get in my way. Basically, once you put your groceries on the belt, you don't get to touch them again until you are taking them out of the bags at your house.
• When people tell me what they think the price is for every item. Thank you, the computer knows.
• When people put their groceries up one at a time, waiting for me to scan each one, watching the register to make sure it's the right price. I promise, grocery stores do not have some massive conspiracy to rip you off as soon as you look away.
• When someone stops me out on the floor, holds up an item, and says, "How much is this?" Just because I work here does not mean I have the entire price list memorized. Maybe you should try looking at the tag, or go to a checkstand.
• As always- people who yack on their cell phone while being helped, or who stand there texting when I'm waiting for payment. Especially when they get annoyed at me for so rudely interrupting their conversation to say, "39.80."
• This conversation, or a close variation: "The sign says it's (amount.)" "Ok, let's go double check." .... "Looks like the sign you saw was actually for that product, five items away." "...So it's not (amount)?"
• When people take their receipt from me and then leave it on the end of my checkstand. If you don't want it, tell me and I will happily throw it in my conveniently-placed trashcan.
• When customers cram items they don't want into the magazine rack at the checkstand. I am right here, just hand it to me so I can put it where it goes!
• When people hit on the cashiers.

This next part gets its own list, because it is especially dear to my heart...

Bad Jokes I literally hear ALL of these, every day:

• Do you accept cash?
• (Referring to name tags) Hey! You all have the same last name! Checker!
• (When an item doesn't scan) That means it's free, right?
• (To Underage cashiers) "No beer sold in this lane." Aw, guess I can't get the rootbeer...
• (To the card reader) "Is (amount) ok?" Well no, I'd prefer it to be free!

No offense- I know you are trying to be clever, and I'm pretty sure my own dad is probably guilty... but it wasn't funny the last 50 times I heard it.

I could go on and on about this stuff for days. Fortunately most of the offenses occur at the checkstand, and I get to wander all over the store for the majority of my shifts. I feel sorry for the cashiers...

So what do we do to maintain our sanity, working in a place where the same thing happens every single day?? The only option is to try and find ways to amuse ourselves.

This is a super crappy photo of a photo, but...

When we find toys left behind by customers, we do a little customizing and put them in our office. Here we have a Venom/Easter bunny, Transformers/Pooh, and others.


And sometimes we name the employees after Star Wars characters.

Just do what ya gotta do!