Getting Tommy to Sleep

{Ok, I promise I wont only post about my child's sleep issues all the time. I actually have quite a few post ideas just waiting around for me to type them up. But before we get to those...}

Well, third time's the charm! We went ahead and started the crying thing again. For the third time. It took a couple more horrible, awful, sleepless nights for us to really have the gumption to do it. 

But it was still hard.

The first night, Tommy cried for an hour and a half. 
[To clarify: I was going in every 15-20 minutes to check on/calm him. I can't do the one were you just completely ignore them the whole time, though I ain't judgin' if you have! Every mom has to do what works for herself and her family.]

I only cried a little bit.

The second night I prepared myself for another long wait for him to fall asleep. I had a book to read and my little chart to write down what time I went in to check on him.
But I only had to go in twice before he zonked. That's right, he only cried for 30 minutes. Talk about a major improvement from the night before! What a relief.

Night number 3 took 20 minutes.

Night 4?
No minutes.
No crying. At all.
He just played with his taggie blanket and fell asleep, all by himself.

Can I get a Halle-freaking-lujah? 

Now he goes down and either doesn't cry at all, or only cries for 5-20 minutes. 20 may still sound like a lot, but it's really not.

But our problem wasn't just putting him down- it was that he kept waking up.
We had to let him cry a few times when he woke up at 10 or 11pm, but surprisingly, even after just a couple days, he only cried for about 10 minutes before falling back to sleep.
And while he does still do this occasionally, it's pretty rare now.

As hard as it is to listen to your little baby cry for a long time, the freedom of being able to put him down at night and know that he'll go to sleep on his own is so nice. Now we're working on his naps, which are sometimes easy, and sometimes hard, and still usually too short. But I'll let you know how it goes.

My Son has a Death Wish

First of all, welcome to the new blog layout. I hope you like it.

Second of all,

Holy Crap My Son is Making Me Crazy!!

Tommy is an extremely wiggly baby. And when I say wiggly I mean, he is constantly going. He can't quite crawl yet (though I predict he will by the end of the week- no joke!) but he just goes, and goes, and goes. 

They call it "Hyperactive" or "High Need." Anyone else have a hyperactive baby? This website has some good information about it- finally I feel like there must be other people out there dealing with this, and I'm not totally alone. 

Some parts that describe us fairly well: 

The cry of a high need baby is not a mere request, it's an urgent demand. These babies put more energy into everything they do. They cry loudly, feed voraciously, laugh with gusto, and protest more forcefully if their needs are not met to their satisfaction. Because they feel so deeply, they react more powerfully if their feelings are disturbed. "If I don't feed him as soon as he fusses, he falls apart" is a common statement from the mother of such a baby. 

Tommy doesn't cry the way you normally think of a baby crying. When he wants something, he literally yells at us. In this obnoxious-but-sometimes-adorable-and-hilarious little baby language until we meet the need. It often makes us laugh. But if we don't do it quickly enough and he does cry? Read on.

After a while, I found myself going into over-drive instantly whenever she cried, because I knew if it got out of control she'd quickly disintegrate and it would take her a long time to come back around. I became obsessive in trying to prevent her from getting upset in any way because there was hell to pay if she did.

This is us, 100%. When Tommy wakes up only 20 minutes into his nap, we try to get to him with a pacifier before he wakes up enough to cry. Otherwise that nap was completely worthless, because we'll spend the next hour trying to calm him/get him to sleep. And then the rest of the day is messed up, and I am not a happy mommy.

About 3 months. "Yelling."

Also, cry-it-out does not work for Tommy. I've tried it. No matter how long you let him "cry it out," he will not. settle. down. Period. My mom even flew out here a few weeks ago to grant me some sanity and sleep by dealing with Tommy during the night, and one day while Nate and I were out, she tried CIO. When we got home, even she agreed that it doesn't work with him. And she's the Baby Whisperer.

"Why do high need babies need more of everything but sleep?" groaned a tired mother. You would think that high need babies would need more sleep; certainly their tired parents do.

This might be our biggest problem. I don't know what the deal is, but hyperactive babies, as tired as you would expect them to be, SUCK at sleeping. Tommy literally CANNOT make himself relax. No matter how tired he gets. And once he does fall asleep, he wakes up. During the day its after very short periods- 30 or 40 minutes, sometimes resulting in a total daily naptime of about 2-3 hours. At this age he "should be" getting about 4. I wish. And during the night, he wakes up over and over because he moves all over the place. Hyperactive babies are restless. I have to go in multiple times a night to give him his pacifier so he'll go back to sleep. Therefore I may be in bed for 7 hours, but with all the interruptions its sometimes like being awake all night.

And this: HI Mom!! I only slept for 5 minutes but I feel SO Refreshed!

Swaddling doesn't help, because he can get out of all of them. Even the velcro ones, even the uber-velcro ones. We have to do a blanket swaddle to get him to sleep, because if his hands are out he rubs his face over and over, takes out his pacifier, and just keeps himself awake. Then he gets his arms out in his sleep and proceeds to roll around. And I've tried many times to get him to sleep unswaddled, and it probably only worked twice. When he was ridiculously exhausted. And I'm pretty sure I was too. AND he didn't stay asleep for long.

Isn't this thing supposed to keep me restrained?

SO.
(Still reading?)
When Tommy was younger, we could rock him almost to sleep, and put him in his crib while he was still slightly awake, and he would go to sleep the rest of the way on his own. It was great. Sometimes it took a long time to get to that point, but things were relatively good. Tommy was learning to go to bed without needing us to get him all the way out.

Then about 4 weeks ago, Tommy started flipping out if we tried to put him down while he was still slightly awake (another High Needs Baby tendency: separation sensitivity). He would burst into tears and we would have to start all over with a baby that was practically inconsolable. His crying felt like he was having his heart broken- Mommy is leaving me all alone in this bed and I'm never going to see her again ever! I felt like I was breaking his trust. I quickly gave up this ridiculous game because I couldn't take it anymore, and went ahead and rocked him all the way to sleep. In a rocking chair, in my lap, in a blanket-swaddle, with soothing music playing on my phone. And there I sit, replacing his pacifier over and over while he cries, until he finally falls asleep, and then after about ten minutes (for fear of him not being asleep enough and freaking out all over again) I go put him in his crib.

The only way he will fall asleep. After much fussing.

And this, friends, is where I am still stuck. Thank goodness my parents got me an iPhone, so I can at least entertain myself for the crazy amount of time I spend in that chair (and thank goodness its a cushy couch rocker thing and not hard wood!).

But this too, is starting to fall apart. It's starting not to work. Naptime and bedtime are getting harder again, and I'm running out of ideas. The last two nights in a row, we haven't been able to get him to sleep till about 10:30! He used to be asleep by 8 or 8:30, which was so nice, but now he pretty much just fights us that whole time. (Even leaving him alone doesn't work- like I said, he can't self-soothe). The worst part is that its obvious that he's super tired, but for whatever reason he can't/wont sleep.

And SOME days (I'm almost done, I promise), I feel nothing but compassion for him. Oh, poor baby, what's wrong? Why wont you sleep?

Other days I have to leave the room and close the door so I wont hurt him! Sounds awful, doesn't it? You're probably not a mom.

And those days (yesterday) are the ones that I have a complete meltdown. I've yelled at him before- told him to shut up and go to sleep already! (He's only 5 months old!) And then I just completely fall apart and sob, because I know he's an innocent little baby and he can't help it. And I feel like an awful mother, and wonder how God could have entrusted me with such a sweet little baby when I have so many, many flaws.

I love my son. He is the biggest blessing in my life. But some days he is also the biggest frustration, and  sometimes I don't know how to handle it.

On a lighter note! We took Tommy swimming for the first time today, and although he wasn't too thrilled at first, he quickly cheered up and giggled whenever I popped out from underwater and surprised him. I'll post pics of that tomorrow.

I love this little stinker. With all of my heart. Even though some days I'm not sure he's going to see his first birthday, I would never go back to life without him. All of the frustration is worth it, even though sometimes that's hard to remember.

Tommy's Birth Story

Hold onto your hats folks, 'cause I wrote a LOT.

Tuesday, March 27: The day before my birthday.

I went to the doctor for my last appointment before the induction. My original due date was April 6th, but for many reasons I had decided to go ahead and be induced on the 3rd. My body was ready; I was more than 70% effaced and already started to dilate. I was having contractions on a daily basis, and Baby was positioned low. Everyone including my doctor suspected he would come early anyway. Forgetting that I was a first-timer, my doctor actually even commented that I must have a history of fast deliveries, considering how everything was looking. He was surprised when I reminded him that this was my first. The comment gave me hope that when the time came, things would go quickly.

I had contractions all night long. This wasn’t extremely unusual, since I’d had them for a while already, and they weren’t particularly strong or consistent. Even still, I started to think that perhaps the baby might decide to share a birthday with me after all.

The 28th came and went, and there was no baby for my birthday. I didn’t even have many contractions through the day or night.

Thursday, March 29:

The morning started with a text message from Nate at about 6am that said, “You should have the baby today so I don’t have to go to work.” Yeah, yeah, that would be great for you, wouldn’t it? Little did we both know...

I was having contractions, but I went on a short trip running errands with a friend from about 11am till noon. While we were out I tried to downplay how strong they were getting, but it was difficult to hide them when I couldn’t talk through them very well. She wondered if she should take me to the hospital. I told her no- they weren’t that bad yet, and I would go home and wait it out a little longer. Maybe they would slow down when I got off my feet.

But once I got home, I was nervous that this was really happening and I wasn’t ready yet! My room was a mess and my hospital bag was only half-packed. So instead of resting, I spent about an hour or so working through my contractions, tidying and packing my bag with all the last minute things I might need. Just in case.

During all of this I was home alone and texting Nate back and forth, telling him that the contractions were getting pretty strong and frequent. I think he realized this might actually be happening when I finally told him I wasn’t sure at which point I should have him come home.

I took a break from cleaning my room and lied down on my bed to relax. I watched some of a Bollywood movie, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, and hoped the awesome music would either calm things down or coax the baby out. My contractions slowed down significantly. Instead of about 5-7 minutes apart as they had been earlier, they came no more frequently than about every 15. Ok, maybe this wasn’t actually happening. They say Braxton Hicks go away when you rest, and that in real labor they don’t stop. Plus, the pain was all in my lower back anyway, not in my abdomen like I expected.

But after about an hour they started up again.

I started really paying attention to how often they came and how long they lasted. My mom came home, and I talked to her about it. She thought I should go in and get checked. I didn’t want to go and just get sent home, so I said no.

The hours went by, Nate got home from work, and the contractions continued to get stronger and stronger. I wanted to lay down with hopes that they would go away, but Nate and my mom encouraged me to stay moving to keep things going. I did my best, but I couldn’t stand up through them, and it was impossible to talk. No position I tried took away the pain. I asked my friend Ashley what her labor had been like, and she described everything I was going through almost exactly. When the contractions started to last for a minute or more each time and were pretty consistently 4-6 minutes apart, I decided to call my doctor. (It was about 6:30 pm.)

He called me back about 15 minutes later, I described what was going on, and he said, “Well, pack your bag and let’s get you checked in, Kiddo!” I was so relieved that the doctor on call that night happened to be one of the two I wanted (Dr. Gonzalez).

We arrived at the hospital at 7:00 pm, and had to wait around with me contracting in the hallway while all the nurses gabbed with some random pregnant girl who wasn’t due until July and was clearly not in labor, like me.  Apparently leaning on their counter grimacing while breathing through your contractions doesn’t mean you get to automatically cut in line. I was somewhat annoyed. But finally someone got me checked in and got me a room.

My dad posted this to Facebook to let everyone know I was in labor.

My nurse was named Kim, and she was really nice. I liked her a lot. I think it helped that she could make me laugh. Good bedside manner and a good attitude go such a long way! And she stayed cheerful the whole night, even into the early morning.

Anywho, Kim checked me a little after 7:00, and I was dilated to 5cm. This was definitely happening! They got me started on an IV, and that may very well have been the worst part of labor for me. Why? Because it freaking hurt! I have never had an IV put in the side of my wrist before, but I was completely unprepared for how much it would hurt. I thought it would be like any old shot in the arm. No no. When my dear nice Kim stuck me I practically screamed, “OW!” at the top of my lungs. It seriously was way worse than any of the contractions I had had, in terms of sudden, excruciating pain. I could handle the contractions way better. Four weeks later I've come to realize that she hit a nerve when she put it in, because my whole hand still tingles when I touch it or move it in certain ways.

After that awful event, Nate and I just hung out and talked for the next hour while we waited for them to come in and check me again, and when they did I had progressed to “between a 6 and 7.” Kim and Dr. Gonzalez commented on how quickly this was going for my first time. It was time to start the epidural if we wanted it to be effective by the time the baby was coming, in case I kept going so fast! I asked Dr. G how much worse my contractions would get, and this is where I had a momentary lapse in brain function.

He said they would probably stay about the same from now on, though they would come faster and closer together. I thought, “they aren’t exactly fun, but they’re totally manageable... Much easier than I expected. Maybe I don’t need the epidural after all!” (Nothing could be worse than that dang IV, right?)

Nate looked at me like I was crazy. Dr. G said it was “up to me!” and didn’t influence my choice one way or the other, which I was grateful for. He just told me I should decide sooner than later. The part that seemed to escape me was that a human being was about to come out of my vagina, and the stretching/tearing when it did would hurt. A lot. I was thinking the contractions would be it! Haha, silly me. Luckily Nate reminded me about that part (and even said, “do what you want... women have done it that way for thousands of years!”) and I came back to the reality that no, I did not want to feel that.

Ok, so the IV was bad because of the sudden, sharp terrible pain, but the epidural was bad for sheer scariness. I was petrified. I have heard so many awful horror stories about women who have been ruined for life because something bad happened when it was done that I just could not relax.

What if she hits something wrong and paralyzes me for life?

What if something happens to the baby??

WHAT IF I DIE?!

It didn’t help that the anesthesiologist was a brusque Helga of a woman who had no sympathy for my fear.

She had me sit on the side of the bed with my legs dangling over the side. Nate stood in front of me and I rested my head and one arm on each of his shoulders. My other hand was clenched in a death grip at his waist. I had about a thousand questions for the anesthesiologist about how she was doing it, what to expect, whether what I was feeling was normal or not, etc, etc... and she was super cold. I remember whispering a little prayer, “please don’t let anything bad happen” a couple times. Maybe I annoyed her with my distrust in her abilities. I guess I didn’t really need to be so scared, since nothing bad did happen, but I was.

Anyway, eventually that was over and I was now being pumped with drugs every few minutes. It is a really weird sensation to be able to feel things, but not feel them at the same time. You can feel touch and the pressure of the baby, but not pain. My contractions were much easier to deal with, since the only way I could tell they were happening was by touching my stomach and feeling it get hard.

Mom and Dad arrived sometime soon after the epidural, and Nate called my sister to tell her that if she wanted to be there for the birth, she better get driving, cause it could happen any time (she lives about an hour away). We wondered if he would come that night, or early the next day. I think the epidural slowed things a bit, because I no longer progressed as fast as I had been before, but there was still a change every time they checked me.

Friday, March 30: 39 Weeks exactly

By midnight I had progressed enough that now I just had to wait till I “felt like I had to poop really bad.” Ok, easy enough... By 1:00am, I finally felt enough pressure to start pushing, so Kim got me started on the first few before the doctor came in. During each contraction I would push as hard as I could three times, counting to ten for each. Nate and my mom each held one of my legs back.

Once Baby’s head was ready to come out, Kim called Dr. Gonzalez in. He calmly talked me through each contraction, told me what a good job I was doing, and sort of cheered me on by saying, “you can do it,” “just one more and he’s out!” and other such things. I really liked my doctor. He also worked carefully (this might be TMI) to help stretch me out so I wouldn’t tear badly, which was appreciated. I ended up only needed a few tiny stitches on the inside- not even a “first degree tear” it was so small, and no external tearing or episiotomy.

I remember when Dr. G said, “just one more and he’s out” that I decided he was right. On the next push, that baby was going to be here. I grasped onto that thought and waited for the next contraction to come, determined that it would be the one. When it did come, I pushed as hard as I possibly could, through all three counts to ten. The baby didn’t come out. I felt super disappointed that I hadn’t been able to make it the one.

I wasn’t going to let that happen again. I was so tired, and I couldn’t tell how hard I was pushing because of the epidural, but I was going to do this.

Nate later commented that he’d never seen my face so determined before.

The contraction came, I pushed HARD... and Dr. Gonzalez said, “stop!” It’s hard to suddenly relax when you’re in the middle of doing something so difficult, but I forced myself to stop pushing and wait for more instructions. I was afraid he had me stop because the cord was around the baby’s neck or something- was something wrong? But then he said, “ok, push gently,” and the baby was out!

Thomas Benjamin Dorsey was born at 1:22am on March 30^th, 2012, and he was beautiful. He hardly even looked like a newborn- he was perfectly pink with pudgy little arms and cheeks.

But something was wrong. He didn't cry. And they didn't place him on my chest like we had previously agreed to. My doctor called him “juicy” and a group of nurses took him off to the side to an "isolette." I couldn’t see very well because of my bedrail- why wasn't my baby crying and what were they doing? How much did he weigh? What were his Apgar scores? What the heck did "juicy" mean?

Apparently Tommy had a lot of fluid (and meconium) in his lungs so they were monitoring his breathing. He was “grunting,” and his little chest was pumping up and down furiously while his lungs tried to work right.

The weird thing is that even though I was worried about him, at the same time I felt completely calm. I had 100% trust in the doctors and nurses who were taking care of him, and somehow just knew he would be fine.

After a few minutes he finally cried- a short, angry sounding cry, like, “what are you doing to me?!” It really was one of the best sounds I’d ever heard. He would be ok.

They monitored him for about half an hour, and then prepared an incubator to take him off to the NICU to keep an eye on him longer.  At this point I still had not even gotten to touch my new baby, so before they put him in the incubator I asked, “Can I at least touch him first?” in a probably pretty pathetic-sounding voice. Nate spoke up and repeated the question, “can she hold him?”

So before they took my little one away to the NICU, they gave him to me for just a short minute. It was so wonderful to be able to hold this new little person! I still can’t believe he’s ours.

We went to visit Tommy at about 4am on the way to our room. He had monitors strapped all over him and breathing tubes in his nose. It was the saddest thing I’d ever seen! But he was doing very well and they suspected he would be fine by morning. We talked to him and held his hands- he was very feisty and kicked his legs and waved his arms around whenever you touched his hands or feet.

Poor baby!

They brought him to us at 9:00 the next morning and we finally got to keep him with us because he was stable. He looked so much better without all the tubes! They left his IV in for another day just in case he needed it, but he never did. We spent the weekend in the hospital dozing, hanging out with my parents, taking pictures of the baby, “Skyping” with family so they could see him, and watching General Conference on Nate’s laptop. It was a pretty decent time, and all the nurses gushed over how cute Tommy was.

He's even cute when he's angry.

Now we are home and after a month I’m starting to feel a little bit more confident in my mothering abilities. The first few nights at home were hard, but thanks to my amazing mom we both survived and are doing well.

Now since you made it through this massive post, here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure!

First time home!

Chillin' with Daddy

Becoming Daddy

I've always thought Nate would be an awesome dad someday. He's great with kids, and half the time we went to hang out with our friends the Phillips, he usually spent more time playing with their two little boys than sitting around with us boring adults.

Sledding with Joe

He's always been pretty open about how he prefers kids to babies, because newborns make him feel uncomfortable. I think that's pretty normal though, and I know I'm still not 100% comfortable with newborns- they just seem so fragile! So I think he worried that it would still be a little hard for him when we had our own, too- at least until they grew up a little.

I started to feel better about babies when I met my niece Traci for the first time. [I'd held my other niece and nephew right after they were born, but I don't think that as a 12 year old I was thinking about this stuff too much. Plus, they were uber-swaddled and therefore pretty safe to handle.] I was excited to hold Traci, but also a little nervous. She was just so small! But I couldn't resist that pretty little face. After holding her the first time, I never wanted to put her down.

I remember that it took Nate a day or two before he would hold her. I offered her to him once, and he simply said, "no thanks." I didn't think too much of it- I knew he would when he was ready.

And when he did, it was love at first sight.

I don't know what he's laughing about in this photo, but I will never forget how Nate looked at her when he first held her. There is nothing more attractive in a man than seeing him play with kids or hold a baby. All you see is "Awesome Future Father." And I totally did. Even if he wasn't sure how he'd do as the father of a little baby, I was. He would be the best.

Later that night we talked about how much fun it would be to have our own kids someday, so I knew he was feeling better.

Now he is the beloved favorite uncle of both Traci and her little sister, Carmen. When we all get together, Traci wants to play with Unta Nate the whole time. And Carmen's sweet little face brightens up every time he smiles at her (sometimes I suspect it may just be the beard...) and Nate absolutely loves his little nieces. Sometimes I think he even seems more comfortable chillin' with Carmencita in his lap than playing with the toddler. Maybe subconsciously it's because he knows his own baby is on the way?

This ain't a guy who's uncomfortable with babies.

Anyway, it's been fun for me to get to watch Nate grow used to the little ones. I've always known he was good with kids, and I've always suspected he would be fine with babies- but now I have no doubt. And I'm so glad that he is the father of my children, because I couldn't think of a better role model for them. Nate is fun, silly, adventurous, intelligent, and kind. He is respectful. He is giving, patient, understanding, and forgiving. He loves his family. He loves to teach and explore. And he takes very good care of his wife.

Our little guy hasn't even been born yet, but I think one of the greatest parts of becoming a mother is watching my husband become a father.

Ultrasound

Ok, so it's been a while since we had the ultrasound, but I'm finally going to write about it!

I was 22 weeks. Mom and Dad got to come with us, which was neat because my mom hasn't seen an ultrasound since she was pregnant with me! And apparently it's a lot more high-tech now than it was 25 years ago. I was so excited to get to see my little one squirming around and to find out the sex! Everyone in my family suspected it was a boy- I think that may just be because we all wanted it to be a boy- and we would have been shocked to find out it was a girl. But he's definitely a boy! And not a shy one, either. Some may be curious, but I'm not going to post his little-boy parts on the internet for the world to see. Just 'cause he's still in the womb doesn't mean he'd be ok with that! Here's his cute little face instead.

I was fascinated by the ultrasound- even to the point of considering becoming a tech myself! What a cool and interesting job. I was told they "look at everything," during the ultrasound, but I had no idea how literal that was. They really DO look at EVERYTHING. It was so awesome! They looked at his heart, lungs, spine, brain, kidneys, etc etc... And then they checked for his hands and feet, and made sure they could see all his fingers and toes. He's got ten of each! One of my favorite parts, and something I'll never forget, was while she was looking for his toes. He was holding his big toe in his little hand and wouldn't let go of it. It was pretty clear there was a toe in there, but I guess the tech has to actually see it to record it, so she kept jostling the wand around my belly, bouncing it to try and get him to let go. He's already pretty stubborn, because it took a minute. It was adorable. I didn't think of it till afterward, but I wish she had printed the photo of that. Oh well. Just seeing the baby move around makes everything way more real, but seeing him do something so.... human? baby-ish? as grabbing his big toe made it even more real than that. There is a little person in there! And he's going to have his own personality. I already love him.

He also kept kicking the lady's hand wherever she had the wand. What a little stinker!

Afterwards we called all immediate family members to tell them a little boy is on the way. Dorsey girls screamed - one may have even teared up a little - and everyone on my side said, "we knew it!" even though nobody really knew it. It was fun.

19 Weeks

Today I am 19 weeks pregnant. Almost halfway! I've been feeling little "flutters" for a couple weeks now. Everything I've read/everyone I've talked to has described it as feeling like gas bubbles or butterflies. To me it feels exactly like a muscle spasm. Little twitches in the same place on and off.

Last night I had my hand on my belly where the flutters were, and I finally felt it in my hand! The little one kicked me somethin' good! It was super weird, but really cool at the same time. I wasn't expecting to feel it either, so it totally surprised me and I said, "whoa!" It was exciting. Later I tried to have Nate feel it, but of course, as in every case, Baby stopped kicking as soon as his hand was there. It will be easier for him to feel it later anyway, once Baby and my belly are bigger.

I have a long story about how my doctor and his office are awful and I'm going to go somewhere else, but my tummy is rumbling (not the baby- I'm hungry!) so it will have to wait till after I am nourished.

It's True!

We are having a baby!

He/she is due sometime around April 6th. I am currently 16 weeks along (about 4 months).

Some random facts:

- I never had even the slightest hint of morning sickness.

- I had my first craving at about 6 weeks, and didn't realize it until I got back from shopping with a whole bunch of orange foods- oranges, cantaloupe, juice, and carrots. No weird combinations though.

- I have to eat about 5 meals a day, or heads will roll. I feel like a glutton.

- I have really vivid, super weird dreams and I almost always remember them. Like the one of Grandma climbing a tree to rescue her dog, which was actually an extremely non-weird one.

- Had my first ultrasound at 9 weeks to make sure I was actually pregnant due to the lack of sickness. Got to see the little peanut for the first time and s/he was kicking like crazy. We like to say we can already tell that Baby will be an excellent biker, just like Dad.

- I went from "Oh my goodness there's really a baby in there!" to "Holy crap there's only one way that thing is coming out" in a matter of seconds. But I was really giddy.

- Weird reaction, I guess you call it, that I've had is itchiness on the palms of my hands and soles of my feet. It's annoying, but I guess it's better than throwing up every day. Just hope it doesn't turn into prurigo (a nasty itchy rash all over the place).

- My belly isn't anywhere near as big as it's going to be, but I feel ginormous. It's hard to get used to, and I hate sleeping on my side instead of on my stomach.

- I cry really easily. 

- I am super scatter-brained and tend to mispronounce/forget words, like when I have a migraine. Just the other day I said, "Oh grosh." Nate laughed at me.
- I don't have any "feelings" about whether the baby will be a boy or girl. We should find out really soon though! I think I want a boy first.
- We also don't have any favorite names yet. Anything I like for a day I get over by the next. Hopefully the name wont just be "One."

That's most of the interesting stuff for now. Will keep you all updated from now on. :)

The Thing About My Family

...is that we are all so very different when it comes to religious and political beliefs. My sister recently commented on how many spiritual beliefs there really are in our family: Jewish, Mormon, Episcopalian, some Native American something-or-other, an "I believe in God but not in religion"... I don't actually even know all of them to list them.

But "the thing" about it is that regardless of our differences in beliefs and opinions, we all still love each other. A lot. And respect each other. And have tons of fun together.

I've wanted to write this post for a couple weeks, because Nate and I went on an [awesome] trip to California and I got to spend a week with my cousins that I rarely get to see anymore. And we are still as close as ever.

Because the differences can be overlooked. First and foremost, we are Family. (Insert music here.) And nothing can ever change that. And we know the value of being raised in a family that is tight-knit and that puts each other first. That looks out for each other, and takes care of each other. That can laugh together and enjoy life's awesome moments together. That can celebrate together- even different religious stepping stones. We went there for my niece's baby blessing, an ordinance we perform in the LDS church instead of infant baptism. In about a year, many of us will meet in Kansas for my nephew's Bar Mitzvah when he turns 13. And it will be great.

Being with my family in California really made me think about how awesome it is that we have always stayed so close, despite the differences. I am so pleased and proud to be part of such a diverse family that really knows how to love. I am a lucky girl.

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On a more humorous note, please enjoy this video.

Catch-up Day! Kansas

Earlier this month my cousin Megan got married, and it was a great excuse to go see my Kansas rellies. I haven't been back there in many years, and haven't seen a lot of them since.

We (dad, Cait, niece TJ and myself) crashed at my sister Yara's house, and got to hang out with her two awesome kids. I was so impressed with them! I can't believe Niece and Nephew have gotten so big. They are smart, and funny, and fun to be around. And good-looking!

We mostly just hung out- which was wonderful. We went to shule with them, and I really enjoyed it. I learned that there is actually more common ground between Judaism and Mormonism than I ever realized!

We went to Z's softball game. It was freezing cold, but it was fun to watch and cheer for her.

 

TJ liked to pick the flowers in the grass.

 

Her hair is crazy 'cause she lost a ponytail.

TJ decided she loved the book, "The Ugly Truckling" and wanted it read about 1,000 times. I was happy to oblige her.

Megan's wedding was beautiful, as was she. It was outside by a pretty lake, and geese (who mate for life!) flew overhead as they said their vows. Can't get more perfect than that!

Then we all partied. Yara and I rocked out with Aunt Jennie (above), and it was great fun.

The next day we had brunch with all the rellies. Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, etc. It was fun- especially teaching the old-fogies how to play Catchphrase. I think I laugh harder with these people than with anyone else!

Our last day in Kansas my dad and I went driving around Lawrence, where he grew up. I love hearing all the stories from when he was a young troublemaker- Something different about growing up back then, when kids actually did cool-but-harmless pranks, like carrying the principal's car up the stairs of the school to put it on the roof (though that one was my grandfather), or putting an outhouse over the school's lion statue (dad's friends).

Another story: one time my Papa and Nana got in a bad car accident, breaking Papa's neck and Nana's leg. She walked about a mile back to the farmhouse on it to get help. Pretty awesome, huh?

This is the one-room schoolhouse my dad went to for a year. The wheelchair ramp to the left is a modern addition, of course...

Lawrence is so pretty, and I want to live there. Perhaps someday...

Why, hello there.

 

It's been a while. I guess I've had blogger's block for a bit. There are a few things I thought I would talk about... but I've also been lazy. Finally I decided to write, because my friend Krista's latest blog post reminded me of something. So here you go.

This morning I worked at 11:00. I'd been slower than usual getting out of bed, and felt a pretty draggy going through my daily routine. The last few days I've felt somewhat grumpy, as well as strangely apathetic about just about everything. Perhaps a new type of PMS? Who knows, but it carried into this morning too.

When I finally stepped outside to walk to my car, I was whooshed awake by some uncommonly blustery weather. It is the beginning of Fall, I suppose. And it felt SO good. I stopped for a second and stood there like a weirdo with my eyes closed, taking in the crisp, cool air. It wasn't cold; just refreshingly cool. the sky was fairly gray, with some clouds; it was getting ready to be rainy.

I don't know what it is about me and summer rainstorms, but I love them. I love thunder and lightning and wind and the wetness- especially because it isn't cold yet (give me that weather in December and it would be a completely different reaction). And I have always loved the crispness of Fall too. So this was sort of an in-between type weather, and it was great.

As I walked to my car, I listened to the wind in the trees, and looked at the sun playing on the mountains to the East. So beautiful. And I thought of my Heavenly Father, and this world that has been created for us. And I talked to Him, and thanked Him for its beauty. I even turned off the radio on my way to work, and rolled down the windows, though the wind gave me crazy hair and goosebumps.

By the time I got to work, I was in much higher spirits than before. I don't know why I've been feeling so blah, but I realized I really had no reason to be less than happy about my life. Things are going well, I've got a good job (now jobs- more to come), good friends, a wonderful husband, and too many other blessings to name. And Heavenly Father gave them all to me, along with this gorgeous world.

Why?

Because He loves me.

Pura Vida, Week Two

Sunday, June 13-
Went to church again. Helped my suegra (mother-in-law) teach a lesson to the young women, in Spanish. Celebrated the suegra's birthday with delicious vegan cake. Relaxed.

Monday, June 14-
Mostly just relaxed all day, I think...

Tuesday, June 15-
Nate's helicopter ride! The Bishop of his parent's ward has his own helicopter, and Nate (who was the top flight student at his military school back in the day- bet some of you didn't know he can fly!) was super excited to go. They ended up only having one seat, so I stayed home. Nate loved it. Rainstorm hit and they had to land at a random airport and catch a taxi for an hour-long drive home.

 

Wednesday, June 16-
Went to Manuel Antonio National Park with Nate and the suegra. Hiked through some jungle, then down along the beaches. Saw monkeys, sloths, toucans, lots of iguanas, a snake, and a raccoon... Swung on a vine. Came home and relaxed. Awesome day.

Thursday, June 17-
Ran wedding errands, made flower arrangements. Read, relaxed, watched movies.

Friday, June 18-
A mostly lazy day, I think. Finished getting flowers ready, stayed up late decorating the cake with Leah.

Saturday, June 19-
Spencer & Ann's wedding day. Got ready for the reception by setting up tables, putting out flowers, hanging up tiny lanterns, etc. Then to the temple, then lots of pictures. Piled 15 people into two cars. Reception! Delicious comida típica de Costa Rica (authentic Costa Rican food)- chiles rellenos, papusas, gallo pinto, jamaica, tamarindo, and a plantain stuffed with sweet dough and fried. Then we ate some of our tasty cake, and the happy couple left. Watched movies the rest of the night and got ready to leave.

Sunday, June 20-

Left the Dorsey house at 5:00am, flew back to Utah.


Overall-
The trip was so much fun, and so rejuvenating! It was nice to get away for a while and spend time with family. I loved the 75-degree (year-round) weather, and loved that I was able to be outdoors for the majority of those two weeks! So much better than being cooped up in a tiny little cinderblock apartment. And guess what? Nate and I are pretty much planning to go live there after he graduates in December. Why not have our own little adventure while we can! We both want to improve our Spanish, too. Nate would work somewhere doing environmental something-or-other, and I could work at the art museums and/or teach English. Costa Rica I miss you!

Pura Vida, Week One

Saturday, June 5-
Visited Uncle Scott on the way to the airport, ate a tasty lunch of hamburgers. To the airport; flew to Denver. Sat in the Denver airport from 5pm till 12am. Flight to Costa Rica from 12am till 5am. No sleep that night.

Sunday, June 6- Arrived in San José, Costa Rica at approximately 5:20am. Explored the house and yard. Ate a big breakfast of omelets, mangoes, fried plantains, and OJ. It was a very yellow meal. Went back to sleep from 7-11am. Woken by a super intense thunderstorm; was so disoriented I thought the noise was someone driving on the roof. Went to church, understood about 50% of what was said. Loved that the spirit was the same. Relaxed the rest of the day.Monday, June 7-Took a tour of Escazú/San José area, learned that driving out there is extremely frightening. Went swimming, relaxed. Enjoyed being lazy.

Tuesday, June 8-
Went way up in the mountains in Quitirrisi to watch Sara teach childrens how to play the recorder. Learned that the ominous, yucky birthday candle smell is the burning trash of the locals. Then went to la Universidad para la Paz (University of Peace, run by the UN), and wandered around their "garden," aka the jungle.
Wednesday, June 9-
Woke up way too freakin' early, drove to Esterillos beach. Arrived by 6:30 am. Played in the water. Made friends with a random, cute dog. Buried said dog in the sand and made him look like a turtle. Played in the water. Saw wild horses. Lunch. Rain. Played in the water. Home, relaxed.

Thursday, June 10-
Lazy day at home. Went swimming, watched movies, read, napped, ate fruit.

Friday, June 11-
Went to Poás Volcano. Hiked through the cloud forest. Decided Costa Rica looks and feels like Jurassic Park. Stopped by a souvenir shop belonging to this really cool hippie man who's all about Peace and Love.Saturday, June 12-
Went to the Multiplaza mall that's literally right behind the Dorsey's backyard. It's one of the biggest in the world. Shopped for birthday presents for Nate's mom, settled on an awesome little fondue set! Relaxed.