I Have Returned! ...with a DMV Rant.

Dear Lady at the DMV with Whom I Spoke on the Phone:

When I called and asked your hours, I was debating whether I had time to come in and renew my license before putting my baby down for a nap. Because you're only 3 minutes from my house and you open at 7:00 (it was almost 8), I figured I'd give it a shot. After gathering the necessary documents and getting myself and said baby ready in record-breaking time, I hopped in the car with high hopes that this would be done in less than an hour, because in the past, mornings at the DMV have been less-busy than afternoons.

Now, I also usually try to be extra nice to people at the DMV because I know how crappy it can be to deal with grouchy customers all day, and the DMV is pretty notorious for being, well, Hated. However, when I arrived at an empty building with a sign taped to the door telling me you had relocated to a different place 15 minutes away, I was pretty freaking annoyed. And I didn't even have to set foot in your office!

Seriously?? This information is not updated on the internet either. You couldn't have just mentioned to me that you had moved when we spoke? "Oh, BY THE WAY, did you know we've moved to a new office?" How HARD would that be? Especially if it was a recent enough move that your information hasn't been updated online and there's still a sign taped to your freaking door?? Because a 30-minute roundtrip drive is a whole 'nother ballgame when you have a baby who will need a nap soon.

Frustrated at my failed efforts, I buckled my son (who I had dragged out into the cold for a pointless 6-minute cruise) back into his carseat and drove home. Perhaps I will try again on Monday. I'll be the one waiting at the door with my baby no later than 7:15. And I'll still be nice... but I will definitely mention how much easier it would have been if you had told me you had moved. Ever heard of common courtesy, or even common sense?

Thanks for wasting my time.
Sincerely,
Beth

[Yes, I know this is probably an overreaction. Maybe she normally tells people they moved but just happened to forget this one time. But also, maybe she's just stupid. It's my blog and I can rant if I want to.]

Just a Little Something

I enjoy reading other peoples' blogs. Who doesn't like a little sneak peek into what everyone else is doing? Humans are nosy by nature. I am happy to have a public blog that people can read and enjoy, because I know I like to do the same.

But bloggers also like feedback and comments. I don't post my life on the Internet just so you can all quietly snoop without saying anything! Fess up! Leave a comment! I want to hear from you. Even if we haven't talked in a long time, or haven't seen each other since high school, or even if I don't know you. Say hi! I'm blunt, but I (usually) don't bite. I do my best to comment on my friends' blogs when I have a reaction to what they post, and you should too.

Did you know that Blogger tells me how many people look at each post, and where they link from?

Out of 50+ Facebook viewers per post, I only get 2 or 3 comments?

Ouch.

I don't want to scare anyone away- if you're too quiet/shy/uninterested/bored/boring? to say anything, please, feel free to keep reading all about my life and secretly getting to know me. But if you have something to say, please do!

It will make me happy. :)

And if you have a blog that I don't know about and/or haven't commented on, give me the link! I would love to check it out.

That is all. Have a nice day!

Source

Bah humbug.

Why bother posting anything if nobody comments? 

Is my life really that boring to you?

LAME.

Another Rant

I don't know why this bothered me so much; perhaps because I was tired and hungry and had just gotten home from work. But here's what happened.

Phone rings.
Me: Hello?
Wells Fargo Man: Hi, I'm calling from Wells Fargo. May I please speak to Miss Dorsey?
Me: This is her. (she?)
WFM: Hello there, how's the weather treating you out there in Provo?
Me: [I really don't think you called to talk about the weather, so I'm already annoyed] ...hot.
WFM: Oh, like dry heat?
Me: ...yep.
WFM: Well, hopefully you have some air conditioning then!
Me: [wondering when he's going to get to the point] Nope.
WFM: Ooh, bummer- at least a fan then?
Me: [don't have a fan, but want him to move on] Yeah.
WFM: Great! Well I wanted to talk to you today about this really great offer we have just for you! Before I begin, just want you to know this call may be monitored.
Me: Ok.
WFM: We're signing you up [not can we, but we are] for a FREE 30-day trial of some amazing thing you have to have, that will protect you if you break your leg tomorrow and can't work anymore! or if you get fired unexpectedly! Only 89 cents per hundred dollars in your account! [Parrots some script about this program for a straight 3 minutes with me going "mmhmm. mhmm."]
Me: Well, that sounds nice, but I'd really rather not sign up for that right now. My husband and I wont be losing our jobs anytime soon, and we can't afford anything else to pay for, but thanks! [Expecting the call to end now. Also, count: said "no" once]
WFM: Miss Dorsey, I know nobody likes to think about the possibility of losing their job unexpectedly, but you really should try this out. [I try to speak--] We've got you all ready to receive some materials in the mail so you can learn more about it, and then you can call and cancel if you decide you don't want it.
Me: Thanks, but I really don't want to sign up for this right now. [Irritated that one "no" wasn't enough. Count: two.]
WFM: Well, we'll go ahead and send you the materials so you can look them over and decide if you want it.
Me: That would be fine, you can go ahead and send them--
WFM: Then if you decide you don't want it, you can call and cancel.
[Hello! Am I not being clear, because you are obviously NOT getting the message. I will call you and ASK to be signed up if I want this thing, after I read about it. I don't want to have to call and deal with one of you annoying salesman again to CANCEL something I told you I DIDN'T want in the first place!]
Me: I'd really rather not sign up for anything right now. We're going to be moving and-- [Count: three]
WFM: It's just a free, 30-day trial, and you can cancel if you decide you don't like it. [Because when you forget to cancel it, it wont be free anymore and we'll start charging you!]
Me: Listen! [voice rising] I told you I DON'T want it. Please DO NOT sign me up for anything. GOODBYE.
Click.

I lost my temper. But how annoying! I hate salespeople who wont take no for an answer. I don't want it, and I shouldn't have to keep telling you that over and over again. And I most certainly should not have to cancel something I told you not to sign me up for! Goodness! I do wish I had ended the call with something more like this:

Sir, please stop interrupting me, your customer, and listen for a minute. I hope this call IS monitored, so your supervisor can hear how annoyed I am. I have told you three times now that I have no interest in this program, and you refuse to let it go. May I please have your name and/or ID number so I can know who to complain about if I end up signed up for this thing? Thanks.

Good riddance!

Clarification

To all you mothers, especially.
I am very well aware that as a non-mother, I have no idea how hard it is to raise a child or children. I know that I will have my own trials when that time comes. But I want to make sure you understand I'm also not saying that every kid who gets grumpy every once in a while is being raised poorly. Kids will be kids. Tantrums will happen. Whining is inevitable. I know, I used to be one.

But unfortunately, at my job, I seem to see more bratty, spoiled children than good kids who occasionally have a bad day. Maybe baby is sick, or tired, or whatever, and cries a little bit. That's ok. Maybe Johnny is hungry so he's extra irritable (that one STILL happens to me). Maybe Susie stubbed her toe in the parking lot and is feeling pouty. That's all fine; it's life.

I'm talking about the kids who yell and scream and disrespect their own parents, as well as those around them. The ones who want everything NOW and GET it every time. The ones who throw things down the aisles, push shopping carts into displays, and are basically out of control. The ones whose parents don't make them behave. Unfortunately, they're everywhere.

Some kids, like my friend Paul's, can actually play with toys from the grocery store and put them back without throwing a tantrum! They might whine a little bit, as do most kids, but they have been taught well and will stop when told. They don't scream and kick and hit and cry about it.

I also know you have to pick your battles. If you've had a long, tiring day, and Georgie wants that lollipop or there's going to be a flood, get him the dang lollipop. You don't always have to say no. But don't fight with your kid and scream with him, telling him no, only to then go back on your decision and reward him. And please, don't always say yes, either.

Something I have observed from friends that I consider good parents is the use of options. Let the child choose between two possibilities, including one they wont want. Example: "Ok Susie, you wanted to ride in the kiddy shopping cart. You can either stay in the car, or come sit up here and get buckled in." Kid chooses the cart! It's that simple. Going across the street, Johnny wants to be alone. "You can either hold my hand or I'm going to carry you." So he holds your hand. Kids do tend to choose the lesser of two evils when given options, and then everyone is happy.

Again, I'm not a mom, so I don't have all your experience. But I've babysat good, normal kids, and I've babysat brats. I know good kids when I see them, and I know obnoxious kids who have been given too much free reign. Don't get the wrong idea, because I know that not all cranky kids equals poor mothering.

Honestly, I love kids, and every time I play with [good] ones, I find myself excited for when I get to have my own. It's going to be so much fun, and I really look forward to it.

Spoiled, Much??

What is the DEAL with children these days?

I feel like every child I come in contact with lately (mainly at the grocery store) has a serious case of brattiness.

Parents, PLEASE discipline your children! They are not your little buddy, they are not your best friend, they are not bigger than you, and they are not your boss!

Please teach your children when it is appropriate to be quiet and when it is ok to be louder. While you are in a public store, or anywhere indoors, an "inside voice" is preferred. That means NOT screaming, especially for no reason. Hint: You screaming at your child to shut up does not send the correct message and is one hundred percent ineffective. Also- when you are playing outside, some yelling is ok; they are children. But blood-curdling, I'm-bleeding-to-death-or-in-serious-pain screaming, especially on repeat, is NOT ok.

Whining. As above- if you, in your most whiney, babyish voice, try to get your children to "stoppp it guysss" they will not only probably not stop, due to your lack of assertiveness, but they will learn to whine too!

If your child hits you or a sibling, do not swat them back whilst saying "no hitting!" As should be clear now, children learn from example, and your actions do indeed speak louder than your words. And then the rest of us have to suffer because of them.

Keep them under control! The grocery store is not a playground! Do not let them climb on the carts or displays, do not let them throw toys (or anything for that matter), and do not let them go running around playing hide 'n seek or tag! Do not let them ride their scooters, rollerblades, bicycles, or "heelies." And if they make a mess, we would appreciate it if you would please have them clean it up. Today our toy aisle was covered with about 50 bouncy balls- everywhere. Some harmless old lady could have accidentally stepped on one and broken a hip! And we would have been accountable for your stupidity! For the love, people.

When you are shopping, and your child decides his world will come crashing down if you do not immediately buy him that candy bar NOW, show him that he will survive by saying No! It's ok to buy your kid a treat every now and again; my mom did and I think we turned out ok. But do it as a reward for good, quiet, patient, behavior. Never reward a tantrum!! A couple months ago a mother and her two daughters came to our store. Things were going fine until the youngest decided she wanted a treat when they were getting ready to leave. The mom said no, and proceeded to walk to the exit. The girl melted to the floor in a classic tantrum- kicking, screaming, crying- the whole shebang. The mom kept walking, and told her child, "ok, see you later!" I was so proud. But alas, it was fleeting, for then the mom gave up, came back, and bought the kid a freaking ice cream! I mean for crying out loud! You'd think the kid had done this before, the way it worked so perfectly! I'm sure she has. And will continue to.

Also, if you know your child is tantrum-prone, and you want them to have something to play with while you shop, please bring your own toys from home. We checkers do not enjoy the shriek-fest that comes when, an hour of shopping-and-child-bonding-with-toy later, you finally take it away.

Personally I think the oompa loompas said it best:

Oompa Loompa doompadee do,
I've got another puzzle for you.
Oompa Loompa doompadee dee,
If you are wise you will listen to me.
Who do you blame when your kid is a brat-
Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?
Blaming the kids is a lion of shame,
You know exactly who's to blame:
The mother and the father!
Oompa Loompa doompadee dah,
If you're not spoiled then you will go far.
You will live in happiness too,
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do!

Thank you to every mom who has the courage to say "No" and sticks to it.

Warning: I am about to Rant.

What is it about OUR parking spot that is just so gosh darn appealing to everyone?! There are about twenty VACANT visitor spots -the closest to my parking spot being directly across from it, but that's too far away- but for whatever reason, parking space #110 is everyone's space of choice.

This has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves EVER. When we lived at our last apartment complex, we literally had the best spot, {which we don't really now- I don't understand!} directly in line from the driveway. Don't even have to turn. So people parked there ALL the time! One person stayed there for TWO DAYS when there was a foot of snow on the ground, making us trudge to the curb (no nearby visitor spots at that place) in the freezing cold. We could have made so much freakin' money for the tow companies, but we were too nice to ever actually have anyone towed.

Then we moved here, and didn't have ANY problems. At first. It was so nice to have so many visitor spots, because we knew nobody would ever take ours! Or so we thought. It started on football game days. We're close to the stadium, so the parking lots here are always jam packed. I can't help it if I get off work after the game starts! But every time without fail, there is ALWAYS an available visitor spot. Do you see those numbers painted on the asphalt?? Yeah, they're there for a reason.

I know it's not a big deal. But it's been festering inside for about TWO YEARS now. Oh, and the worst part? If it's after 5pm, when our complex's office closes, we can't have them towed! Yes, we finally stopped being nice, and tried to get someone towed once- but local companies wont tow off private property, and after hours office people tell you to take down the license number and come in the next day. Bah! I want immediate results! I want them gone! Nate has a "valve-core remover" for bicycles, and it basically makes your tire go flat really fast- he always wants to attack their tires. But I object to the idea of stranding them there longer. I'm about ready to key the next car, though. Sometimes I leave angry notes, like, "GET OUT OF MY SPOT!" but that doesn't really accomplish anything. It makes me feel better for like 2 seconds. Then I think, this person is probably a friend of my neighbor, who will now think I'm a jerk. But I obviously don't care enough...

Ward friends, I think you are all wonderful, but PLEASE tell your friends to use visitor parking! Or I don't care, they can park in spot #109! Just stay out of my space! Grrr!

The Bane of my Existence

Ok, that's an exaggeration. But this is really irritating me for some reason, and I must get it off my chest.

A few months back one of my friends came into class wearing this headband.

I complimented her on it, because I thought it was cute. I even thought it might be nice to have one of my own.

But THEN I started seeing everyone and their mom wearing it, and it's really starting to get on my nerves. Yes, it's cute. Yes, it can keep your ears warm. But doesn't it bother you when every other girl you walk by is wearing the exact same thing? They are literally everywhere! I do not go a single day without seeing multiple people wearing this.

No offense to any of my friends who have chosen to participate in this new fad; it's ok. You look trendy, just like everyone else.

The headband count for yesterday was seven. Seven of these stupid things in one day!

PDA - Cut it out!

So I'm peacefully sitting at a little desk on campus reading for my classes and taking notes when some annoying little smoochy couple decides that the space right in front of me between said desk and window would be a great place to cuddle up and start a makeout session.

GET A FREAKIN' ROOM! Not only have you now blocked my nice view out the window, but can't you see I'm trying to study!? Your impatience to get a little "somethin somethin" and lack of finding someplace private has ousted me from my peaceful little study desk and now I'm not doing anything productive. I saw a ring on her finger, can't you wait for the wedding night? Seriously, nobody wants to see that. I guarantee nobody else will be occupying that nice little desk while it has a front-row view of THAT performance.

Ugh. Gag me with a spoon.



In other news, I did not get first place in the essay contest, and bitterly lost to an English major (pfft, what's that about?) but I get to pick out a nifty print to hang on my wall, and she doesn't. Ha! I'm kinda glad I didn't get first, because we need some art in our house and I never use my two iPods that I already have anyway.

School is getting busier. The semester is halfway over which happened in the blink of an eye, and thinking about how fast its gone really makes me excited for next semester to just start already, cause I want to finish! Thinking about how many projects and papers I have between now and December 10th is a little intimidating, but I think most of them are spaced enough that I'll be able to handle it. I hope.

Work is work; Myrl is old, Heidi is still deaf, Andy got fired, Jon quit. That's about it in a nutshell.

Venting Spree

Yes, one more pet peeve, and then maybe I'll actually talk about our life.

Have you ever been in a class where there's like... a mom? Now, don't get me wrong: there are many wonderful, smart, fabulous women old enough to be my mom, my own mother included of course. But the ones in class sometimes just don't seem to get it.

The class that I get to share with not one, but two moms, is Modern Art.

Modern Art is weird. It's random, and all about being experimental, and there are a whole bunch of different movements... There are manifestos written about why artists did things in certain ways, and some of them are completely off the wall. Modern Art is hard to understand.

Which is kinda the point.

Anyway, we just learn about "Vorticism" today. It's from the early 1900's and is based on a written work called "Our Vortex." It's really confusing and makes no sense whatsoever. But the whole point of this movement is something about how life is a vortex, things are all crazy and random and chaotic except for at the center of the vortex, where everything is calm and still, and somehow this all has to do with art. (Though I don't think that explanation would pass a test.)

But this mom could not get over the fact that to these artists, things were calm in the center of the vortex. "But the dictionary says that a vortex is a vacuum, and the center is where everything gets sucked in! It can't be calm and still at the center."

Artist's make up their own meanings for things. Especially in Modern Art.

Seriously, she mentioned it a few different times and kept saying, "it's so funny to me that it's not really what that word means!" GAH!! That's not the point!

I'm sorry if this is totally pointless to you, but this woman is driving me crazy! Everyday she gets stuck on something silly and unimportant! 

....

I don't know any witty cute ways to end this, so for your enjoyment (or disgust, confusion, whatever) is a Vorticist painting by Umberto Boccioni. 

States of Mind: The Farewells

(Do you see the train?)

Pet Peeve

So, the parking lot for our apartment complex has two driveways. One is an IN drive, and the other is an OUT. But for some reason, people like to be irritating and drive OUT the IN way, and it always happens when I'm trying to drive in. Really, it only takes about 15 seconds to circle the parking lot and go out the correct way. So do it! 

The other day I was trying to go in, and some punk in a little white car was going the wrong way. These driveways aren't made for two cars to fit side-by-side. I mean, they CAN, but it's a tight squeeze. And our Element isn't huge, but it's not a small car either. Anyway, while this stupid little car was trying to squeeze past me, I noticed that both of us had our windows down. So I politely (ha!) let him know that he was going the "WRONG WAY!!" 

And I felt better.

Even if it wasn't the nicest thing to do.

"I'm Trying Hard to Grow..."

...So please don't walk on me.

Perhaps you too have seen these signs along the edges of the "DT grass" that is still brown and prickly. Perhaps you have also seen people committing the heinous act of walking across said grass, or have even done so yourself. Ok, it's not that bad, but it's still really annoying to me. I take the 30 seconds longer to walk all the way around the field, trying to accommodate the signs and let the stuff grow, but it seems like everyone else just goes right on through. It is really starting to irritate me. I mean, people are walking right past the signs, it's not like they don't see them! I was even out there one day while some workers were outside, and one man called out to someone asking them not to walk on the grass, but he was completely ignored. How lame is that? There is a clear difference between this field and the one a little farther north, by the Harmon building. That grass is dark green, lush, and pretty. The DT grass is again, brown and prickly. And these people are making it that way! So cut it out, and let the grass grow, dangit.

A.u.t.o.m.a.t.i.c.

So, I have a little bit of a beef with automatic stuff.

Faucets- You always look silly waving your hands around until you hit the sensor, and then they keep turning off while you're still soapy.
Soap dispensers- Can't seem to get the right amount. You either get way too much, or have to go back for a few more drops.
Paper towel dispensers- You have to do a little "Jedi mind trick" hand wave ten times to get enough paper to actually dry your hands, and soemtimes you just give up and use your jeans.
Toilets- Always scare the pants off me when I stand up and they go WHOOSH!! and you're afraid of getting sucked down.

Now one more thing has been added to the auto-bathroom collection. What else is there, you say?


Yep, that's right. These days the human race is so unbelievably lazy that we don't even need to overdo ourselves by grabbing a handful of TP after doing our business. Just hold your hand under the dispenser, and out it comes, with a nice little whirring sound. I was pretty surprised when I first discovered this phenomenon on campus, and couldn't really believe that BYU was actually putting money into auto-TP dispensers instead of other, more important things. Really.

One unfortunate factor of said TP dispenser is the noise. A girl a few stalls over from me obviously needed quite a lot of TP, as the infamous whirring gave her away. I don't want people knowing how much I'm using- awkward!

Nate decided that the next invention will probably be a little automatic hand and does the dirty work for you! Oh the luxuries of technology...

Hipocrisy much?

So the other day at work, I was contentedly stocking the shelves (cheesy tatoes, to be exact) and I noticed many of the boxes already on the shelf were missing the top right corner. Someone had ripped them all off. Why would anyone do such a thing? I looked at a non-ripped box, and discovered that the "Box tops for Education" things are in that corner.

Someone actually stole box tops for education.
And ruined our product doing it, so they basically stole that from us too.

How can you steal those?! We decided that doing such a thing basically makes you a really horrible person. Hope your school enjoys the stolen points, ya jerk.

Reason 4

Here's another that happened just minutes after my last post.

I'm riding on the sidewalk, going downhill, and 2 girls are coming toward me, walking side by side. As I get closer, does one of them kindly step behind the other for two seconds so I can pass? No. I have to go into the grass to avoid hitting the stupid girl who wouldn't move. One of these days I'll just mow someone over.

Pedestrians

As many of you know, I ride my bike to school and work every day. And because Utah drivers are scary and dumb (I've nearly been hit multiple times just trying to cross the street in the crosswalk) I choose not to ride in the bike lane on the street, but rather on the safety of the sidewalk. Now, I try to be a courteous biker, giving people on the sidewalk as much room as possible and not rushing past them so fast they're afraid I'll bowl them over.

HOWEVER.

Utah pedestrians might just be more stupid than the drivers. Or at least more annoying.

Reason 1: Everyone and their mom is plugged into some form of music that is blasting their eardrums so hard, they don't hear me yell "on the left!" and I have to slam on my brakes or ride through nasty thorny grass to get around them. Thorns = popped tires. Turn it down a little, eh?
Reason 2: Even when people aren't plugged into earphones, they don't know what to do when a bike comes up behind them. It's simple. When you hear "on your left" or "on your right" GET OUT OF THE WAY. It's a pain in the rear to have to slam on my brakes and then restart when I've already got good momentum going.
Reason 3: People don't know left from right. The pedestrians who have actually tried to get out of my way often tend to move TO the left when I say "on the left" rather than to the right. And that's just dangerous. If I'm coming up on the left, it means you move to the right. It's that simple.

Stupid pedestrians.

"Strawberry Fields" my Hiney!

So, I bought this yummy-looking, healthy cereal the other day, thinking that well, it would be yummy and healthy. I mean, just look at the box! Bursting with berry-deliciousness, right?

WRONG.

Upon pouring my first bowl of this cereal, I was quite disappointed. Not only are the flakes just plain blechy, but you get about one icky dried strawberry per bowl. Pretty pathetic! That filthy box is so deceiving!

Here's what you really get. Sad day.

So, before you are deceived by this appealing box of cereal, think twice. And if you want a GOOD healthy and fruity cereal, I recommend Total Cranberry Crunch. You actually get some honey-rific clusters and cranberry goodness in EVERY bite.